Product: Barley 9 SummersLink to sporking and/or link to story: Children of Gondor (O, the terror...)Author of Sporking/Author of story: b2wmSuggested retail price of object: 1 canath per bottleQuote from story where object is mentioned: "Estel sat next to the fountain watching Eldarion teach a young boy swordplay. The young boy was Tarion, a lad of barley nine summers. Eldarion was beating him easily.Advertisement/Commercial:Barley 9 Summers -- a delicious beverage to keep you cool for nine summers. Tastes even better with a dash of whisky ;)
Product: Melady LessonsLink to sporking: Emotions Change, Friends Don'tAuthor of Sporking: bacardibreezer7Suggested retail price of object: 16 mirians per lessonQuote from story where object is mentioned: "The year did pass quickly but it was mostly filled with my mother giving melady lessons." Advertisement/Commercial:Gain the mastery of MarySueing through our carefully designed Melady Lessons!Taught by the finest MarySue experts from Udun, our Melady Lessons will give you the skills and insight to excel beyond any level in your MarySue endeavour.Our core Syllabus:- Introduction: Being a MarySue- Basic MarySue dress code- Basic Marysue vernacular - Basic Marysue etiquettebehavioural pattern- Detailing your appearance- Flaunting your importance- 10 ways to make every canonical character pale in comparison with you- 10 ways to make all male canonical characters fall in love with you- 10 ways to reduce all female canonical characters into a bunch of idiots- Common plot devices involving a MarySue- Refining your purple proseSatisfaction guaranteed: If you do not get sporked within three days upon completing our course, the entirety of your tuition fee will be refunded.Register today!
Product: The Perfect Dress for Rainy DaysLink to sporking: Untitled: An Éomer StoryAuthor of Sporking: scissor_runnerSuggested retail price of object: 250 150 miriansQuote from story where object is mentioned:"Why don't you come with me Olivia. I am sure I have a dress you may borrow." "I'm fine...honestly. I'm actually a bit damp." "I have the perfect one then!" Éowyn exclaimed, happily.Advertisement/Commercial:Worried that rain would ruin your dress?Despair no more! We have The Perfect Dress for Rainy Days! It is specially designed for wet weathers, and the damper you are, the better it looks! The Perfect Dress for Rainy Days is now at a discount price of 150 mirians, so Hurry! Place your orders now!* Available in all sizes, exclusively at udunoutfitters.Warning: Do not put on the dress when you are not damp because in such case, we do not guarantee its quality. For best effect, pour at least 3 glasses of water over yourself at regular intervals of one hour.
Product: Glazing eyes.
Link to sporking and/or link to story: Voila
Author of Sporking/Author of story: bacardibreezer7 sporked it nicely.
Suggested retail price of object: Ooh, currency...Hm, perhaps...75 mirians and change? Yeah, sounds good. 75 mirian it is.
Quote from story where object is mentioned: "Myth..." he said quietly. She nodded, and let her eyes glaze over his
naked upper half. He turned and swiftly attempted to put his shirt back
New, from udunoutfitters, are
Glazing Eyes (as seen on Cooking With Thranduil)! Perfect for your all
your cooking needs, Glazing Eyes are what all the best chefs use! No
need to worry about dirty utensils, just gaze at the food in question
and voila! Glazed.
Welcome to udunoutfitters! Once we've amassed a few items, I'll be putting together a stock list and filing posts away in the memories. Donations of icons (Morgoth Bauglir will be our president/mascot, with Gothmog maybe putting in an appearance or two) are always welcome. :)